Jimmy Valentine’s brother says with smooth cool: "I Freep for the chicks, fresh air, and it's an easy way to get my picture in the paper." Hmmm, mystery is always cool. But this seems like more of the fog of war: we’ve seen the leftist chicks, JVb, and we just don’t believe anyone would want to meet them. Besides, surely there are easier ways to meet chicks than to stand for 3 hours in 8 inches of snow?

Jimmy Valentine’s brother admits to not being a "public person," but that’s not a surprise. Once there was a fictional hero of O. Henry’s, "Jimmy Valentine," a smooth-talking, suave safe-cracker who lived a sophisticated high life and never got caught - a fictional creature made famous by some old big screen movies. Why’s that important? Read on and I’ll reveal the mystery.

Here’s a profile on a solid mainstay with the DC Chapter and one cool cucumber who thinks its cool to Freep. He observes that DC doesn’t have a lot of conservatives, and conservatives don’t always like to do grassroots activism, but in his opinion "taking a conservative point of view into the streets" should be the thing to do:

"For too long the socialists have had their way and have not been challenged. Protests don’t have a short-term impact, but as I witnessed in the late sixties and early seventies they do have a wearing effect. Also, in the United States it is not that big a deal for people to gather and publicly voice their opinions. But for people in other countries, the only time they can take to the streets is when the Government tells them to 'or else'."

"We all remember Tienanmen Square. As a result, when they see Americans in the streets on CNN, they think that the government is sending mixed signals and perhaps is not really 100% behind the War on Terrorism. So I believe it's important to challenge the socialists at every opportunity."

Jimmy Valentine’s brother arrived at his Freeper name "after much thought." He considered the cynical Rick Blaine from Casablanca returning to the fight, or Will Kane from High Noon. Finally, he settled on "Jimmy Valentine’s brother" as "an inside joke with him as well as the DC Chapter." Is that clear to everyone?

Jimmy Valentine’s brother has "the great good fortune to be married to lovely and beautiful Vivien Valentine," whom he has a penchant for referring to as "Jimmy Valentine’s sister-in-law." Which, for too long I confess, led me to believe that there actually was a "Jimmy Valentine" in the picture somewhere.

Is this getting clearer? No? OK, let’s move on then.

The point being, Jimmy Valentine’s brother may be a man of mystery, but he’s got a great wife.

"She lets me go play with the DC Chapter Warlord and Ringleader whenever they call a meet, but her parting words are always, ‘Wake me when you get home ‘cause I’ll be worried.’"

She needn’t worry. He’s good under pressure. For example, I was standing beside Jimmy Valentine’s brother when a whole bunch of ragtag leftists turned toward us and surged toward a U.S. Park Police line on September 28, 2001, near the Navy Memorial. (OK, actually, I was pretty much hiding behind him at that point.) JVB grew rigid, puffed out his chest, narrowed his eyes, and just beamed this look of intimidation at them while remaining perfectly still, except to calmly say to me out of the corner of his mouth:

"They talk tough but they’re chicken."

The unwashed gaggle of leftists receded under his gaze. He’s cool under pressure, and he has big broad shoulders, and my boyfriend will deny it, but he was standing next to JVb for security that day. too! (Hee hee. Boy, am I in trouble here. Next topic!)

Based on his deportment on the street, I kinda assumed Jimmy Valentine’s brother has had lots of combat experience. So I was surprised to learn the details of his military experience:

"Drafted in 1967, Basic Training Fort Bragg, AIT Fort Lost in the Woods. Served two years active duty, 18 months stationed in Karlsrhue, Germany as part of the 7th Army and later 7th Corps, Combat Engineer MOS 12B30, demolition and landmine warfare specialist. Primary mission was to delay Communist Bloc advance if the balloon went up by destroying bridges and laying minefields. Regularly went camping in the mud and was roused in the middle of the night for alerts. Never heard a shot fired in anger and consumed massive quantities of excellent German beer; survived Ocktoberfest Munich 1968. Rotated back to the US July 1969 for active duty separation prior to first Reforager exercise. I did not attend Woodstock. I did not take the brown acid that is not me with the lamb. Million dollar experience that I wouldn’t pay a buck for. Eleven out of fourteen of my college fraternity brothers had active duty experience."

What a hip quote, huh? Keeping cool drinking beer, camping in the mud, speaking German. Hmm, not exactly the high life. And yet, this would prepare one to deal with the leftists that visit DC nowadays!

Good question. The mystery deepens. TRUST ME that Jimmy Valentine’s brother goes to, like, every single frigging DC Freep! He must have had perfect attendance record or something. He followed the many Clinton scandals, lurked on FreeRepublic, and attended the March for Justice Rally in October 1998.

Jimmy Valentine’s brother didn’t officially "take to the streets until April 21, 2000 (Easter Weekend), when Elian Gonzalez was snatched by Janet Reno's thugs."

"I'll never forget that day. Deputy Attorney General Eric Holder declared on national television that the INS did not require a warrant."

He lets his guard down and adds:

"My brother (there’s the brother again!)called me on the phone spitting mad. We decided to go down to the White House because we knew someone would be protesting. Sure enough the DC Chapter was there on the job."

Outside the White House - familiar meeting ground, huh? - he first met up with bmwcyle, ironman, kristinn, angelwood, and the usual suspects. After that, he became a fixture at the White House Saturday Freeps.

Among his favorite Freeps:

"My brother and I went to the Judgment Day Rally. I continued to lurk while my brother registered."

(WAIT!! Are you teasing me or is there *really* a brother??!! Arghhh. Sigh. I’m so gullible they call me 'Einstein' behind my back at the DC Chapter, I’m sure of it. I promise I’ll get to the bottom of this by, well, the bottom of this profile.)

JVb also views as "impressive" the "Thanksgiving weekend at 34th and Massachusetts" (hint: the words "Get Out of Cheney’s House" were spoken there). He liked that Freep because:

"It was the most spontaneous gathering of people - people who were tired of the nonsense of the Clinton-Gore Administration and their cute legalistic ways."

Well, it was certainly cool to be at that Freep! But what about the brother? Sigh, perhaps if I were a more aggressive interviewer (like dansangel), I’d know more about his cool name by this point in this piece. Bear with me.

Jimmy Valentine’s brother is a big fan of the late Balint Vazonyi and Thomas Sowell. He believes in the
"[p]reservation of the Constitution as written and not interpreted by the Courts," especially with regard to the commerce clause. He also believes in the Declaration of Independence. On the conclusion of "America’s 30 Years War: Who Is Winning?", Vazonyi provides the contrasts between the Anglo-American and the Franco-Germanic views of the manner and organization in which people live and work together successfully. JVb likes this analysis:

"At their simplest, the Franco-Germanic philosophical position may be characterized as attributing to human reason an unlimited capacity to comprehend, evaluate, and arrange the affairs of our world. The proper sequence in charting the future course for humanity calls for the theory to be developed first, and for people and events to conform to it. By contrast, the Anglo-American position regards human reason as bounded by limitations and in need of moral guidance as it attempts to provide for the future. It is observation, experience, and lessons learned that form the basis of society’s choice in organizing its institutions."

What a timely quote. Can anyone recall some recent "Franco-Germanic" wishful thinking in recent world events?

That quote was important, even though it has forced me to my word limit, and regrettably left me without room to discuss the existential and ontological status of Jimmy Valentine, the presumptive brother of Jimmy Valentine’s brother. (Maybe, Jimmy Valentine exists and doesn’t come to the DC Freeps because Jimmy Valentine’s out dating the good-looking leftist chicks, and that would explain why the leftist chicks we see at these protests are just remarkably, amazingly not good-looking?) WHATEVER.

One thing I can clear up for you for sure: Jimmy Valentine’s brother is definitely a brother type: solid, responsible, always there. And I’m sure that if the Hollywood people ever met him, they’d be forced to agree that it’s hip to Freep with such a cool relative of Jimmy Valentine.